Quiet Time

Sitting here, alone for the first time since I moved to Kansas City in September, I realize that I don't feel any different than when the rest are around. Apparently I've become good enough at isolating my mind from this environment that it no longer matters. Or maybe the presence of private time hasn't sunk in yet. It will be over soon, but even now I feel a tenuous peace on needles. I'm not comfortable. Haven't been since I got here. Ignoring it is no problem, but I've never liked watching things go by without having my hands in the mix.

We're right of the verge of really beginning. New house, baby will be here soon, my new job... I'm afraid if I start paying attention now I won't like what I see. Maybe it just a fear of what I can't yet see.